Reflection

I have been thinking a lot lately... possibly because I have more time: working part time and baby is actually sleeping at a decent hour and through the night! But what ever the cause I have been thinking and therefore reflections over my life, my choices, my expereinces, my regrets (though I claim to have none) and my future come with my thoughts. Much has happened to me since I left home for college and I feel that that is when I my real life started, away from my parents, away from the safety nets, and away from the familiarity of 18 years. So to continue, within my reflection I have some fears and I find that most of my real fears began the day I gave birth to my daughter. I suddenly realized that she would be the center of my world and the person I would think of before myself in all my decisions and struggles, if I regretted something it would make a serious impact on her. So I have been cautious and thought everything through in fashion that would make sure I was doing the right thing for her and would keep our family entact. I feel that we (my husband and I together) have done the best we could for her in our decisions but how do we know. She does not talk all that much (definitely not articulating well) and she cries over spilled milk (literally), so how do we know we doing right by her. Well, I have decided that she is clothed, fed (even when we don't eat), she has entertainment, gets to spend time with us, and have a roof over her and bed to sleep in. She doesn't get ignored, or left at random people's house, I haven't gone out with my girlfriends since Tracy's wedding and my husband, Earl, and I try to take care of our relationship in the time that we have when we are not sleeping!
So, as with anything there is always work to do BUT I feel that I am doing everything within my power to make Isabel the healthiest, happiest, and most well- rounded little girl I can, while encouraging her independence and growth everyday! I love being a mommy and everyday she does something to remind of that (right after she does something crazy) =)